PARTNERS

A complete and accurate list of every major corporation that has not partnered with FloppyFetch, not endorsed FloppyFetch, and is not aware that FloppyFetch exists. We have tried to keep this list as accurate as possible.

In the interest of full transparency, we present below a comprehensive registry of the world's most valuable and recognizable companies. Each entry has been individually verified to confirm their current partnership status with FloppyFetch. Verification methodology: we checked. None of them called back.

APPLE INC.
FOUNDED1976 (in a garage)
MARKET CAP$3.4 Trillion
USES FLOPPYFETCHNO
ENDORSESNO
AWARE WE EXISTUNCONFIRMED
Prefers proprietary download infrastructure. Their download manager is 47 times larger, requires an account, and updates itself without asking. Ours does not do any of these things.
○ NOT A PARTNER
GOOGLE / ALPHABET
FOUNDED1998 (in a garage)
MARKET CAP$2.2 Trillion
USES FLOPPYFETCHNO
ENDORSESNO
HAS INDEXED USPOSSIBLY
Has their own internet. Also has Chrome, which has a download manager built in. Their download manager has no scanlines. We consider this a significant oversight.
○ NOT A PARTNER
MICROSOFT CORP.
FOUNDED1975 (in a garage)
MARKET CAP$3.1 Trillion
USES FLOPPYFETCHNO
ENDORSESNO
IRONY LEVELMAXIMUM
Makes Windows. FloppyFetch runs on Windows. A symbiotic relationship in which they provide the platform and we provide a small executable they don't know about.
○ NOT A PARTNER (TECHNICALLY OUR LANDLORD)
AMAZON.COM INC.
FOUNDED1994 (in a garage)
MARKET CAP$2.0 Trillion
USES FLOPPYFETCHNO
ENDORSESNO
DELIVERY SPEEDNext Day
Delivers physical goods to your front door. Cannot deliver FloppyFetch to your Downloads folder. That remains your responsibility. We checked with them. They said they don't do that.
○ NOT A PARTNER
META PLATFORMS
FOUNDED2004 (in a dorm)
MARKET CAP$1.4 Trillion
USES FLOPPYFETCHNO
ENDORSESNO
TRACKS YOUSEPARATELY
Connecting billions of people. None of those connections have been about FloppyFetch. We are not on their platform. We do not want to be on their platform. This is the one area where we have strong opinions.
○ NOT A PARTNER
NVIDIA CORP.
FOUNDED1993
MARKET CAP$3.3 Trillion
USES FLOPPYFETCHNO
ENDORSESNO
AI INVOLVEMENTEXTENSIVE
Powers artificial intelligence at planetary scale. AI cannot help you download a file faster. Your internet connection determines that. We are built on a while loop, not a GPU cluster.
○ NOT A PARTNER
NETFLIX INC.
FOUNDED1997 (DVDs by mail)
SUBSCRIBERS270 Million
USES FLOPPYFETCHNO
ENDORSESNO
IDEOLOGICAL FITPOOR
Streams content. FloppyFetch downloads content. A fundamental philosophical divide that we do not expect to resolve in our lifetimes. They have their method. We have ours.
○ NOT A PARTNER
TESLA INC.
FOUNDED2003
MARKET CAP$1.0 Trillion
USES FLOPPYFETCHNO
ENDORSESNO
INDUSTRYCars. Not downloads.
Electric vehicles. Autopilot. Mars. None of this is related to downloading files. We reached out anyway. They did not respond. We assume they are busy with the cars.
○ NOT A PARTNER
SAMSUNG ELECTRONICS
FOUNDED1969
PRODUCTSEverything
USES FLOPPYFETCHNO
ENDORSESNO
MAKES EVERYTHINGEXCEPT THIS
Makes chips, phones, TVs, refrigerators, ships, and buildings. Has not made FloppyFetch. This is one of the very few things Samsung does not make.
○ NOT A PARTNER
OPENAI
FOUNDED2015
VALUATION$157 Billion
USES FLOPPYFETCHNO
ENDORSESNO
IRONYCONSIDERABLE
Building artificial general intelligence. Could presumably simulate a download manager. Has chosen not to. We take no position on the AGI timeline, only on the download manager gap.
○ NOT A PARTNER
SPOTIFY AB
FOUNDED2006
MAU602 Million
USES FLOPPYFETCHNO
ENDORSESNO
BUSINESS MODELStreaming, not saving
Streams music. If you use FloppyFetch to download music, Spotify has strong feelings about that. We are neutral on this. We download files. What files is not our department.
○ NOT A PARTNER (POSSIBLY CONCERNED)
ADOBE INC.
FOUNDED1982
MARKET CAP$160 Billion
USES FLOPPYFETCHNO
ENDORSESNO
SUBSCRIPTION FEEYes. Many.
Charges monthly. FloppyFetch is free. We are ideological opposites. We respect their work. We do not respect their pricing. We keep this to ourselves. Usually.
○ NOT A PARTNER

Market capitalizations are approximate and were accurate at some point, possibly recently. "Aware we exist" status is unverified in all cases. FloppyFetch has not contacted any of these companies and does not recommend doing so on our behalf. All trademarks belong to their respective owners, none of whom have endorsed this page, this product, or this sentence.

YOUR LOGO HERE

You could be the first major corporation to partner with FloppyFetch.
Your logo, prominently displayed, on a website that downloads things.
We cannot guarantee traffic numbers. We cannot guarantee anything.
But we can guarantee the scanlines. The scanlines are excellent.

[INITIATE PARTNERSHIP PROTOCOL]

Response time: variable. Enthusiasm: genuine. Promises: limited.

◈ MAGNETIC TIER
$0
Your name mentioned in passing
One (1) acknowledgment in footer
Profound sense of giving back
Zero tracking pixels
Ideal for individuals, small businesses, and anyone who just wants to feel good about themselves.
◈ DISKETTE TIER
$
Everything in Floppy Tier
Your name in a boot sequence line
Custom slogan in rotation
Named in legal disclaimer
Personal thank-you. Handwritten.
The ∞ is aspirational. We will find a number that works. We believe in you.